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O for Ok and Not Ok. The A to Z of Conscious Living

A to Z O
Ok & Not Ok

It’s ok to be ok, and it’s ok to be not ok.

We seem to have created a society where it’s not ok to be not ok. Not every day we live is going to be great even when living consciously. Some days are going to be challenging beyond words and we can often find ourselves in the pits of our mind feeling anxious, depressed, fearful and other emotions that we wouldn’t choose. Sometimes simply trying to raise our consciousness to a level where we can choose a better feeling doesn’t get us there, so we start to think “what’s wrong with me?” “why am I flawed / useless / a failure” … and so on.

Knowing that it’s ok to be not ok allows us to just feel where we are and let it be. In L for Let It Go we spoke about easing into the flow of life as it is and letting it be, and often that really is the best strategy. Sometimes we just need to feel it through.

We know we will make it out the other end. A great quote says: “I’ve got a 100% record for getting through the bad times”. However, not all of us do. The suicide rate in the world is startling. People taking their own lives because something in their head told them it was a better option than feeling bad. They didn’t believe it was ok to be not ok. That ‘something’ will be explained in S for Script.

We are feeling beings and our emotions tell us what’s going on. If we block them we can cause a lot of dis-ease in our bodies which in turn can lead to so much ill health. Think about it, when someone we love is hurting either emotionally or physically, we want to do what we can to help them out of that pain and make them better again and happy. That is very well intentioned on our part. However, the person needs to find their own way through and in doing so release what they need to so they can find peace again. If we don’t allow them the whole experience of this and to release the cause of the pain they can end up carrying that around with them and the pain repeats. Our love and acceptance of where they are on their journey is sometimes all we need to give.

This can be a challenge for us as observers. I know as a mother that I will jump in at the first sign of distress for my son and find a way to deal with it for him. He has Autism and is non-verbal when it comes to expressing himself, especially when he is in meltdown. I have no way of telling what is causing his distress as he doesn’t say, and he doesn’t hold or point to any part of his body if it is physical. I have no option but to let him feel his way through it and trust he will find a way. Over time I have learnt to just show him my love, stay calm and let it be, and he always does find a way.

Whether it is with our children or anyone, if we show people that we are not ok when they are not ok, what message does that give and what kind of expectations are we setting for them to attempt to always live up to? There we sow the seed for them of low self-esteem and thoughts of not being good enough when they are not ok. It starts with us and being ok with being not ok ourselves and with others.

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Until next time,

Alfie X

One Comment to "O for Ok and Not Ok. The A to Z of Conscious Living"

  1. Fabulous post. I know I have found it hard to ask for help when I am not ok, because I was not ok with being not ok.

    With love and support I am getting better at it. And it works wonders when you show that you are not ok and get a great big hug and understanding back.
    Jacqui Malpass recently posted…Open the gates of heaven and find your bookMy Profile

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